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Chapter 24
Awestruck
Midsummer. Have you thought about the grand
calmness nature radiates this time of the
year? It's like a great serenity is glowing
in the very air, like is everything coming
about in its own innermost rhythm, don't you
think? It gives me the feeling nature itself
is sensing the times of hardship is over;
life's rough resurrection from hibernation,
spring's arduous coming-into-being, they're
over, and now, now nature can just thrive in
its own calm splendour and bountiful beauty.
I lay
myself down in the shadow of an oak tree to
watch the powerful stillness and high lofty
aliveness in all of nature neighbouring me.
Sensing a profound calm easing into my
spirit, gazing around absentmindedly, I get
the feeling my physical eyes are just tools
for the eye of the soul to, how shall I put
it?, letting the beingness within watch its
own creation? A curious feeling at any rate.
My mind
starts wandering off. I find myself thinking
that new falls will come, new winters will
embed the world in dormant white, new
springs will life-arise again, and new
summers holding this immense force of vital
tranquillity will re-enter the world. Yes,
it will all happen again, the seasonal cycle
will go on and on. Parallel though I have
this unaccountable feeling nothing will ever
truly be quite the same. Not for me. It's
like, on a surface level, the wheels of life
and death entwinement will keep on rolling
as The Great Creator is breathing in and out,
manifesting itself in an infinite number of
different guises, all bedecking this worlds'
realm for a while before they vanish again,
only to come back in yet another shape and
shade, just as it has always been. But at
the same time
mmm
I can't put my finger
on it, but the sensation I feel fluttering
inside of me takes the shape of an image
were two dainty, precious, absolutely
gorgeous Trossles are swimming about in a
marvellous billowing seascape. A seascape
bright and luminous in
colours, and soft and muffled in sounds.
They're swimming along, side by side,
exploring the exuberant wonder of their
world, blissfully happy and content with all
and everything around and about in this
shimmering, glimmering, enchantingly
beautiful, preciously wonderful seascape.
They're
exactly alike, the two Trossles, the only
thing differing between them is the colour
of their hair; where the one has foot-long,
thick, curly sun-blond hair, the other one
has foot-long, thick, curly velvety-black
hair. They never look at each other as they
swim about. I know it's because they have no
need they
know
the other one is always there by her side,
seeing the same magically spectacular
scenery as herself, sharing the prolific
realm, and so they swim along beholding
their world, together, so happily, so
self-evidently and oh so joyfully, as have
they no knowledge of the word "fear". Their
eyes, o their wonderful, wonderful eyes,
they are like infinite wells beaming,
radiating the purest Love and happiness
there ever was. A Love and happiness so
forcefully intense and yet so yieldingly
gentle and purely kind man is yet to see it.
Oh, I wish you could see them they're
immensely groovy and warm to behold! No
words in the whole of Universe can even
begin to describe them! Simply watching them
make every single atom in my heart rejoice
with the innate trueness of their
magnificence.
The
world they're beholding seems to be a myriad
of reflections of their own inner absolute
beauty, as are they beholding it all from a
sacred place, at the innermost core of
themselves, somehow. I notice as I watch
them they're seeing everything but never
focus on anything in particular. No, they
simply perceive it all without making
distinctions, happily, merrily and utterly
content with it all and, hence, with what
they are themselves. They just move about in
all this splendour, effortlessly, like two
mermaids in an enchanted underwater universe.
My o my what a miraculous wonder they are!
Dear
God, this has to be the most glorious vision
ever! My heart sings in pristine joy as I
watch them. "How I want to be one of them!"
I hear myself whisper, only to think back to
myself: "What a peculiar thing to want I
already am, I am one of them." Yes, I can
sense that's true, but at the same time it's
like I'm not
really
... Like there's something laying in-between
myself and my Trossle-soul. The
in-between-thing isn't there when I watch
them, but as soon as the vision fades and
I'm back with myself again, the veil is also
back,
again. I can't imagine anything even
remotely more desirable than to fully enter
the world of my soul. To be her, to be with
her, to swim ever so comfy side by side with
my Trossle-twin, to see the world through
her beaming eyes that's Paradise.
Wow,
I'm awestruck! This wonderful world and
these wonderful Trossles with their
wonderful eyes and wonderful smiles. For a
fleeting moment there I could catch a
glimpse of the world as seen through their
eyes; a world so translucent and still so
shimmering conspicuous, so remarkably soft
and strong in colours at the same time, so
harmoniously crystal clear and yet subdued
in tones, so illumine. Almost as if what I'm
seeing takes place in another dimension, a
parallel universe where everything is the
same and yet not the same at all. Yes, my
friend, its like beholding existence from a
perspective not previously known to exist,
from the other side of the membrane, a
parallel yet inseparable dimension of
what-is.
***
This vision. I felt it like a promise within,
giving rise to an ancient echo at the very
core of my heart and soul. Do I dare believe
in it, do I dare believe in me?
***
(S)HE
came to me, the tiniest, shiniest and most
wonderful of all wonderful Trossles (s)he
came to
ME!
Can you believe it? Can you believe my lucky
chance? (S)he entered my life as softly as a
butterfly landing on the palm of my hand. On
the surface a barely noticeably sensation,
but inside her presence spread like tender,
trembling current-circles all throughout.
Through her my breath inhaled the scent of
undivided love priming all of the air. I can
feel her as a vivid, peaceful happiness
singing in my heart. Funny when you think of
it, all I ever wanted is here now. But I'm
not. I'm not here.
I only
hope, hope beyond all shadows of all doubts
having ever tainted my sight, that the
long-lasting grizzly fall tempest came upon
me for a reason, and that its reign is now
about to meet with its own end. Yes my
friend, I now hope for unspeakable wonder; I
hope that it broke my house down into a
million pieces so that I could be built anew,
in accordance with Trosslan's Song; In
Harmony With The Great Song of Existence.
Yes sister, I hope for a miracle.
And I
want to believe that the fall tempest,
however unwilling in its mind yet desiring
nothing higher in its heart, will find what
it
does not know it was always searching for:
the perfect stillness at the eye of its
centre. Yes dear friend, I so do want to
believe it all happened for a reason; a fury
unleashed to change it all, save the One
that cannot change, the One through which
all changes can come about.
♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫
♪
Me and Tross, we are together,
soaring high in the blue sky!
Me and Tross, we are together,
floating deep in the blue sea!
♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♫
♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪
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